Saturday, 2 September 2017

Signs Your Marriage May Not Be As Strong As You Think

Surprisingly, nowadays most marriages don't fall apart because of big things, like cheating. Often, it's the buildup of years of resentment over lots of little annoyances that suck the love out of a marriage. While it's totally normal for the excitement, newness, and passion to fade a bit as your relationship wears on, your marriage still needs to be nourished if you want to see it succeed. 
There are some behaviours or signs that may actually show that your marriage is not really as strong as you think it is. Some of the behaviors might not seem like a big deal, but they can be insidious. 


These signs speak loud and clear and so you and your partner may have to start putting more effort and engagement into your relationship to get it back on track. And while the happiness quotient in your marriage won't change overnight if you just ditch these habits, the transition to a lasting and loving marriage will come in time if you start prioritizing your relationship today. So, here are some of the signs you need to look out for:

1. Your Spouse Is Not Your Go-To Person Anymore:
Have you got big news? Or something stressing you out that you really need to get off your chest? If you don't think to share it with your spouse first, then there is something amiss in your connection. Couples obviously need to share the little events of their day to day life to keep their home functioning, but what really strengthen the relationship is the deeper conversations about what's happening in their lives. Couples in thriving relationships engage in emotional self-disclosure and want to remain intimately connected to each others' inner worlds. So, if you are always reluctant to share something with your spouse, you might want to stop and think about whats amiss so you can resolve it ASAP!

2. You're Overly Focused On Yourself:


A marriage starts to weaken when both people start to become so centrally focused on just them, their family, home, and work life. When you become a couple with someone, you typically combine your individual, interesting worlds to create a whole other, potentially more interesting world that helps you grow. As you get deeper into marriage and into your families, those extras can start to dwindle due to lack of time, energy, and obligations. As a result of years of self-neglect, you may begin to over compensate: You might start to exercise a lot, work longer hours, or spend more time with your friends which becomes the priority and takes away time from the relationship!
When these happen, try to take the focus off of yourself and support your partner in also doing things that help him or her grow. You can also find some activities that you can share outside of being parents or spouses. If we allow our partners time to do the things that help them grow, then they will allow the same for us. And you won't feel the need to be greedy with your “me-time”.

3. You're Comparing Your Partner To Others Especially Not In A Good Way:
Do you ever think, "I wish my husband was more like Ann's husband" or "I deserve someone who would bring me flowers every day?" etc. When you start comparing your partner or relationship to others, you've got one foot out the door! Maybe you won't actually act on it and leave, but it's a sign that you've mentally checked out. 
This is negative thinking - drinking wine every night and complaining about what's not great in your life/relationship is a common thread on social media and reality TV shows. But it's a hidden marriage killer if you're annoyed all the time and you get sour on the inside! To quit swimming in negativity and up the positivity, quit complaining, and do a self-check on whether your contrary feelings toward your partner are actually valid.

4. You're Not Fighting, But Still Not Loving:
Well, just because you're not arguing doesn't mean you're actually happy. This could mean that the person is so disengaged that they won't even fight anymore. Sometimes, arguing is a good indicator of investment in the relationship. Ask yourself: Is a happy marriage worth fighting for? Hopefully, the answer is yes, and all you have to do is up the positivity factor immensely. Start by being grateful and noticing how great your life is with your partner. Take a step back and look at the routine things that you've taken for advantage. And start creating a culture of gratitude by saying thank you for everything. Thank your partner for taking out the trash, for looking hot on a date night, or even for folding the laundry. It feeds their ego and they will probably start being more appreciative of you. Trust me, the love is bound to grow when the appreciation of one another is there.

5. You're Leading Separate Lives:
Do you go to bed at separate times? Watch TV in different rooms? Go out with your friends without each other? If so, you're lacking in intimacy, and not just the physical kind. Intimacy is a strongly knit personal bond that exists in the bedroom and beyond, and it affects nearly every aspect of our lives. The more you isolate yourself from one another, the more you will feel a sense of disconnection. Make out time to have a monthly check-in with your partner to purposely reconnect and establish a balance of where you are in your relationship and in life. It's vital to take the time to set goals and develop action plans as a couple for your emotional lives just as you would plan a vacation or purchase a house. Choosing to spend time with your partner instead of isolating yourself will go a long way in deepening your intimacy and communication with your partnerand preventing the end of your relationship.


So, I hope its safe to assume that your relationship/marriage don't show any of these signs! If it does, please do well to fix it before it causes something major! I'd rather listen to a love story about couples and their anniversaries than about couples fighting over properties/children after a divorce!
What do you think? Lets hear your comments below!
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Model, Computer Techie, PR, Social Media Marketer, App Developer, Freelancer, Blogger! . . . Oh, I forgot to add Social Worker! Plus, I like writing my thoughts down! . . AND . . I LOVE making new FRIENDS! . . . Contact me on social media -- Rosy Omeje

2 comments:

  1. Number five is just the real deal!

    ReplyDelete
  2. 1,2,5 is enough to crumble any marriage!!

    ReplyDelete

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