Why Maids Can Take Over Homes

To me, I think maids are supposed to be someone brought to a home to help out in taking care of it.
They may be brought to help in domestic work or babysitting.

But today, some maids have changed their primary aim of coming into a home to something else far from the reason they were brought in.
Most of the shift is partly caused by them while blame can still be placed on the person or people who brought the maid into the home.

- First of all, what is a maid expected to do when brought into a home?

My case study is on married families so I would be talking about maids in married homes.

When a maid is brought into a married home; there is a 90% probability that the wife is either pregnant or has given birth already!
It is rare to see a newly married couple getting a maid!
What exactly will she be doing in such a home?
Any newly married couple who brings in a maid when there is no kid in sight may be looked at suspiciously.
So, back to the question, what are they expected to do?

A maid in a married home is expected to handle house chores like cleaning, washing etc anything that should be done to keep the house clean is left to the maid.
Another thing a maid is expected to do is to babysit.
This is usually the main reason a maid is brought in. She just fits into the housekeeping naturally without been told.
After getting married, the kids start coming and women (especially working mothers) start looking for maids to help them out with chores.  That is the primary work of a maid.

- Secondly, why do maids start misbehaving?

There are good maids, if you are very lucky to get one! And there are naughty maids, if you are unlucky to get such.

Maids come into a home with the intention of helping the owners in babysitting or housekeeping.
But what can trigger a maid to start misbehaving?
I have watched families with maids and I noticed similar things in about 70% of them:
1. The maids are not well taken care of:
Why would someone take someone's child only to not care for them like a parent?
I have seen good maids turn bad because they were poorly cared for! They had to steal just to buy good drugs for themselves.
I don't think a maid who sees all the care you shower will still misbehave (unless its a selfish maid).
2. They are not given any ounce of respect from the smaller kids:
Most times I watch a scene like this and I can't help laughing.
Kids observe what their parents do to the maid and always try to do the same.
You see kids rudely telling someone twice their age to do something for them and the parents will look at the maid to check for any sign of protest! The maid will have to swallow the insult and do that just to save her job.
Don't you think that maid may do something crazy to that kid when the parents are away?
3. They are not well fed:
I have seen a lot of cases when the maid is allowed to eat only after every other family member is full! Most times, there may not be anything left after that.
A hungry person is an angry person so it may not totally be a maid's fault when they start misbehaving as a result of the rumble in their tummy!
4. They are mal treated:
A lot of maids suffer this.
Simply because you took a maid into your home doesn't mean you can treat them like dirt!
Maids are humans and are not supposed to be punching bags.
If a maid does something wrong, there are lots of acceptable punishments you can give.
A maid who feels welcome in a home will not give room for misbehaving (the ungrateful ones may do otherwise though).

- Thirdly, why do maids break or take over homes?

This is the question that inspired this post.
Some maids now specialize in coming into a home and breaking it into pieces!
A lot of people, including Religious leaders  have advised married women to keep their integrity and matrimonial vows.
Some people like the former Archbishop of the Church of Uganda, Henry Luke Orombi partly blamed the increasing marriage break-ups on maids!
He said "
working women look down upon their husbands and are too lazy to attend to them, leaving husbands at the mercy of maids who attend to them, soothe them and eventually take over!"

That may be true to an extent.
But what about the husband who allowed himself to fall into the hands of a MAID!?
I think that is so shallow!

Okay, I agree that some working women have failed to bring out time for their husbands.
Some don't know how to balance work and family (too bad) and this MAY lead to the collapse of their families. It is necessary that women know how to put families (husbands) before work.
Women ought to spare some time for their husbands and do what they are supposed to do and that is why it is good to make out time to be with your family alone.

Another bloody mistake women make is leaving everything to the maid!

Henry Luke went on to ask
"Why do you leave the maid to do everything in the house, including giving food, taking water for your husband to the bathroom, making your beds, etc and you still think you are a married woman?"

Seriously, what are married women thinking leaving their maid to do every single thing, including what concerns their husband!

What are they expecting when the maids are the ones going to market, getting the foodstuffs, preparing the meal and also serving THEIR husbands?
I don't know if I am that correct but I think there is a bond that expands from husband to the food server. If its not you, you may be losing it to your maid.
Women are always advised to handle things concerning their husbands by themselves.
Even if you don't do any other thing; prepare the meal and serve it to him yourself!

Some women are the architect of their own marriage problems and some sharp maids will notice this weakness and quickly control the situation to their own advantage.
To them, if you can't handle your family, they are willing and able to take it from you and handle better than you!

- Lastly, how can one manage their maid to prevent negative stories?

A lot of people, including myself have said different things about handling a maid.
You just have to check and pick the one you can do without causing more harm.

Some of the suggestions include:

1. Take good care of your maid:
Unless your maid is a selfish person, she is likely to be of good behavior at least to appreciate your hospitality.
You never know where you will meet your maid in the future so be good to them.
As a human being, some maids will want to give you the hospitality or maltreatment you show them now in the future so be good or you may be unlucky to meet them as the doctor trying to safe your life (imagine if you had been bad to such a person in the past).
2. Teach your kids to respect them:
If the maids are way older than your kids, teach your kids to talk to them nicely.
Allow your kids to join the maid in some house chores they can handle themselves or risk having your kids turn lazy.
A lot of kids who grew up with maids in their house tend to be lazy or don't know how to do things themselves!
The reason is not far fetched! The kids were not allowed to work or learn from the maid. They will always find a way to run and leave the maid alone to the chores since the maid will always do it with or without them.
I think if kids respect maids and learn how to work from them and with them, things may be a lot easier!
3. Don't leave everything about the house to them:
Like Henry Luke said, "as a married woman, don't leave everything to your maid".
Maids are very sharp and when they know their way around your house more than you, you are spelling trouble for yourself.
Some women come into the kitchen looking lost. They don't even know where the salt is located in the kitchen! Such people may have to call their maid before they can get the salt in their own kitchen!
That is very bad because it can give the maid an edge over you!
Just imagine your husband asking you to get him his towel and you said you don't know where the maid dropped it because she was the one who washed and packed it in!
I will love to see the look on his face when the maid goes into the room to get it herself and takes it to him!
Do you think that is a good development?
4. Stay away from maids if you can't handle them:
This has been debated on for long and it is controversial because it doesn't favour some people.
Staying away from maids means not bringing them to your home at all! And that means handling your home alone.
Some working women who are against this claim that they can't combine work and housekeeping/babysitting so there is the need to get a maid!
People who are in support claim that maids now cause more harm than good to families so they should be left alone.

Okay, what happens to people who can't combine work and housekeeping?
People have suggested that husbands are the only ones who can help in this case.
When the husband gets involved in the housekeeping the problem is reduced.
It is fun when the house is handled by the couple before the kids grow to take over. If there will be a timetable showing when, how and who should do a particular house work, there may be little or no need for a maid.
The problem now is, will the husband help?
Will the wife work with her husband?
Some will and some won't.
If you say yes, then thumbs up.
If you say no, take a look at your family and picture what maids can do to your family. Then if you are ready to risk having someone else coming in to take your family, then you can get a maid. If not, you both should swallow your pride and work as a couple.

So this New Year, try working as a couple and make your home stand without a third party who may pull it down from the foundation.

With that said, what's your own opinion on this?


  1. I don't even advice keeping Maids.

  2. Maids are something I will really advice couples to flee from!

  3. maids keh??? i dont even like hearing that!

  4. Thank for sharing. Personally I don't like keeping someone as maid. They can be mean when ever they want.

  5. i cnt even employ any one as maid..
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  6. Couples should stop keeping maids, okwa mmaka ndu nke nwoke lol


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