Tips On How To Love
The act of loving is more gratifying
for both the lover and the loved than the state of being in love. The state of
being in love is passive and can easily slip from reality into a fantasy about
being in love. The act of loving involves real behaviors that keep a person
actively engaged in loving.
People are usually taught how to
behave and how to be polite to one another, but people are not really taught
about love or how to love one another. Learning how to love is as easy as
learning manners or accepted behaviours.
Learning to love involves 3 steps:
- acknowledge and accept.
- be grateful and express
appreciation.
- reciprocate with action.
This simple process breaks into the self-protective behaviors and attitudes that interfere with partners loving each
other. It enables people to accept love with dignity and return love with
appreciation. When people follow these suggestions, they find themselves
actively involved in being in love.
1. Acknowledge and accept:
The first step is to acknowledge and accept what is
given to you by your partner. This step is much more difficult than it sounds
because most people have little real awareness of what is given to them. They
perceive their partners in terms of what they want from them or what they
should be getting from them.
To gain some perspective, step back from your
partner. As you stand alone, get a feeling for yourself as a separate,
independent person who is perfectly capable of functioning on your own. You are
just you, alone. Now take a look at your partner, separate from you. Separate
from anything you may expect, want or demand of him/her. Separate from a role
he/she may be trying to fulfill in relation to you. He/she is just him/her,
alone.
Once you are experiencing yourself and your partner
from this vantage point as two very separate, individual people, look at what
your partner is giving you. Don’t look for grandiose gestures of love and
devotion. Don’t look for what he/she ought to be doing for you. Look for real,
simple, everyday acts of thoughtfulness, sensitivity and kindness. Look for
unique acts of giving an expression of his/her nature and his/her sensitivity
to your nature. Couples hurt each other by overlooking these acts as love.
However when you acknowledge them, you are accepting the love your partner is
offering to you.
2. Be grateful and express appreciation:
Once you have acknowledged what is being given to
you and have then accepted it, the next step is to be grateful and express
gratitude to your partner. Your gratitude would not be conveyed with
occasional, extravagant and effusive expressions of thanks and appreciation.
Your gratitude would manifest itself in tender feelings of thankfulness that
you would feel and express every time kindness, sensitivity and generosity is
extended to you by your partner.
As a result of this ongoing expression of
appreciation, you would find yourself living in a constant state of gratitude
for your partner’s love for you.
3. Reciprocate with action:
You have accepted and expressed gratitude for
what your partner has given you. Now, in the final step, you give to your
partner. Giving to your partner is not about you as a couple. It is not about
how you see him/her in relation to you or your relationship. Giving to your
partner involves an awareness of each of you as separate and distinctive people
with your own individual traits, interests and desires. This awareness makes
you sensitive to what your partner personally wants and needs; at the same time
it makes you conscious of what you personally have to offer.
Therefore, the final step in being loving is the act
of responding to your partner’s personal needs with a response that is highly
individual and unique to you. Because this personal level of giving is such a
profound expression of who you are, the more wholeheartedly you give, the more
fully you realize yourself. As you continue to actively respond to your
partner, your life will be enriched by the joy and satisfaction that comes from
expressing gratitude and love through thoughtful acts of consideration and
kindness.

What do you
think?
Cool!!!
ReplyDeletefeels cool reading this though
ReplyDeletenice post
comment byTechsparkhub.com ceo